SGB: Episode 112
Episode 112: Baby Barbarian (5)
Snore, snore!
How much time has passed since I pretended to be asleep with the baby barbarian’s snoring as background music?
Rustle, rustle-
I hear a rustling sound from the direction of the bonfire. It seems like they’re whispering to each other…
…and I can roughly guess what they’re talking about.
[What are we going to do?]
[What do you mean, what are we going to do? We have to kill them now.]
[Who first?]
They must be plotting who to kill first.
If they’re proper bastards, there’s no way they would miss this opportunity.
It’s practically a double jackpot.
They can get two barbarian hearts worth 1.8 million stones each.
[The woman last. Let’s take care of the barbarians first.]
I can even guess what kind of conclusion they reached.
They’ll probably try to kill either me or Karon first.
Therefore, I focus even more on my hearing.
Thud.
The sound of small footsteps slowly approaching.
Two of them are moving towards me, and the other one is moving towards Karon.
‘They’re planning to take them out at the same time.’
It’s not a bad choice.
Although they have to split up, it’s a way to minimize variables by attacking simultaneously.
But the outcome will be the same.
Thud.
The moment the two figures stop right next to me…
…I get up abruptly.
“I’m hungry… Huh? What are you guys doing there?”
“Heup!”
The spearman and the leader, who is holding a hammer, gasp in surprise. I glance to the side and see the archer aiming his bow at the sleeping baby barbarian.
I pretend not to see and ask nonchalantly,
“Ah, did you guys also wake up because you were hungry?”
When I even rub my stomach, they seem to think I didn’t see the archer. They exchange glances for a moment and then smile awkwardly.
“Th, that’s right. We were hungry. How about we go over there and eat together?”
“Meat?”
“…Of course. I have some jerky in my backpack.”
“Jerky!”
“Be quiet. Everyone’s sleeping.”
“Alright…”
Just as I’m nodding and about to take the lead…
Thwack!
…I feel an impact on the back of my head.
It seems like the leader hit me in the head with his hammer…
“Huh?”
But there’s no way my head, which was fine even after taking an axe hit from an Orc Warrior, would be hurt by that.
“What?”
I turn around nonchalantly and see the two of them frozen in shock.
It’s understandable.
They hit me in the head with a hammer, but I didn’t even flinch, let alone groan.
“Uh, uh…”
The leader just stands there, frozen, without even thinking of attacking again.
His mind must be racing right now.
For now, it would be reasonable to assume that I was hiding my identity…
…but it’s too despairing of a truth to believe.
I grin and say,
“Ah, did your hand slip?”
“Uh, uh?”
“Even if you’re hungry, how can you make a mistake like this?”
Even I think it’s a ridiculous line, but surprisingly, the leader smiles awkwardly and nods.
“Ah, ah! I’m sorry.”
Sorry my ass.
Does he really think barbarians are idiots?
“I just made a mist—”
Thwack!
“ake…."
Thud.
Since I don’t have my mace, I deliver a straight punch to his face.
The result isn’t much different.
The leader collapses to the ground with his facial bones caved in.
“Uh…?”
The spearman bastard next to him just stares at me with a confused expression, as if he still doesn’t understand the situation.
“Ah, my hand slipped because I was hungry.”
I say as if I’m genuinely sorry, but it seems like he has no intention of accepting the apology.
“Royce! What are you doing! Shoot him!!”
The spearman gives orders in place of the unconscious leader.
Whoosh!
The archer then shoots an arrow.
But was there a miscommunication?
Although he clearly told him to shoot me, the arrow is aimed at Karon, the baby barbarian.
Thump!
Fortunately, Karon, who woke up after hearing the spearman’s shout, twists his body and avoids getting hit in a vital spot.
“Keugh, Royce! What are you doing!”
Karon, with an arrow stuck in his shoulder, gets up quickly and grabs the archer by the neck.
“Keu, keugh!”
“Speak! Speak! Aren’t you going to ask why I shot you!”
“Keugh, that is… please let go… keugh!”
“You won’t talk!!”
I guess I don’t have to worry about them anymore.
I turn my gaze towards the spearman and see him subtly retreating towards the darkness.
Even in this chaotic situation, his will to abandon his companions and find a way to survive is commendable…
But would that work?
“…So they really were marauders.”
Misha, who had been watching silently the whole time, ends the situation by striking the back of the spearman’s neck with the back of her blade.
Snore, snore!
How much time has passed since I pretended to be asleep with the baby barbarian’s snoring as background music?
Rustle, rustle-
I hear a rustling sound from the direction of the bonfire. It seems like they’re whispering to each other…
…and I can roughly guess what they’re talking about.
[What are we going to do?]
[What do you mean, what are we going to do? We have to kill them now.]
[Who first?]
They must be plotting who to kill first.
If they’re proper bastards, there’s no way they would miss this opportunity.
It’s practically a double jackpot.
They can get two barbarian hearts worth 1.8 million stones each.
[The woman last. Let’s take care of the barbarians first.]
I can even guess what kind of conclusion they reached.
They’ll probably try to kill either me or Karon first.
Therefore, I focus even more on my hearing.
Thud.
The sound of small footsteps slowly approaching.
Two of them are moving towards me, and the other one is moving towards Karon.
‘They’re planning to take them out at the same time.’
It’s not a bad choice.
Although they have to split up, it’s a way to minimize variables by attacking simultaneously.
But the outcome will be the same.
Thud.
The moment the two figures stop right next to me…
…I get up abruptly.
“I’m hungry… Huh? What are you guys doing there?”
“Heup!”
The spearman and the leader, who is holding a hammer, gasp in surprise. I glance to the side and see the archer aiming his bow at the sleeping baby barbarian.
I pretend not to see and ask nonchalantly,
“Ah, did you guys also wake up because you were hungry?”
When I even rub my stomach, they seem to think I didn’t see the archer. They exchange glances for a moment and then smile awkwardly.
“Th, that’s right. We were hungry. How about we go over there and eat together?”
“Meat?”
“…Of course. I have some jerky in my backpack.”
“Jerky!”
“Be quiet. Everyone’s sleeping.”
“Alright…”
Just as I’m nodding and about to take the lead…
Thwack!
…I feel an impact on the back of my head.
It seems like the leader hit me in the head with his hammer…
“Huh?”
But there’s no way my head, which was fine even after taking an axe hit from an Orc Warrior, would be hurt by that.
“What?”
I turn around nonchalantly and see the two of them frozen in shock.
It’s understandable.
They hit me in the head with a hammer, but I didn’t even flinch, let alone groan.
“Uh, uh…”
The leader just stands there, frozen, without even thinking of attacking again.
His mind must be racing right now.
For now, it would be reasonable to assume that I was hiding my identity…
…but it’s too despairing of a truth to believe.
I grin and say,
“Ah, did your hand slip?”
“Uh, uh?”
“Even if you’re hungry, how can you make a mistake like this?”
Even I think it’s a ridiculous line, but surprisingly, the leader smiles awkwardly and nods.
“Ah, ah! I’m sorry.”
Sorry my ass.
Does he really think barbarians are idiots?
“I just made a mist—”
Thwack!
“ake…."
Thud.
Since I don’t have my mace, I deliver a straight punch to his face.
The result isn’t much different.
The leader collapses to the ground with his facial bones caved in.
“Uh…?”
The spearman bastard next to him just stares at me with a confused expression, as if he still doesn’t understand the situation.
“Ah, my hand slipped because I was hungry.”
I say as if I’m genuinely sorry, but it seems like he has no intention of accepting the apology.
“Royce! What are you doing! Shoot him!!”
The spearman gives orders in place of the unconscious leader.
Whoosh!
The archer then shoots an arrow.
But was there a miscommunication?
Although he clearly told him to shoot me, the arrow is aimed at Karon, the baby barbarian.
Thump!
Fortunately, Karon, who woke up after hearing the spearman’s shout, twists his body and avoids getting hit in a vital spot.
“Keugh, Royce! What are you doing!”
Karon, with an arrow stuck in his shoulder, gets up quickly and grabs the archer by the neck.
“Keu, keugh!”
“Speak! Speak! Aren’t you going to ask why I shot you!”
“Keugh, that is… please let go… keugh!”
“You won’t talk!!”
I guess I don’t have to worry about them anymore.
I turn my gaze towards the spearman and see him subtly retreating towards the darkness.
Even in this chaotic situation, his will to abandon his companions and find a way to survive is commendable…
But would that work?
“…So they really were marauders.”
Misha, who had been watching silently the whole time, ends the situation by striking the back of the spearman’s neck with the back of her blade.
_______________________
“What’s going on?!”
Karon asks in confusion.
However, there’s no way the archer, who fainted from being choked, would answer.
“These guys are marauders.”
I kindly explain that barbarian hearts are sold at high prices and that I snuck in because I suspected these guys.
However…
“What? That’s impossible! They’re my companions…!”
Our pure baby barbarian doesn’t believe it. No, to be precise, he doesn’t want to believe it.
“Karon, son of Tarson, grow up.”
“…Are you trying to insult me! I’m already a warrior!”
“Then why are you trying to deny reality?”
Karon shuts his mouth at my question.
Because he knows too, right?
That everything I said is true.
“…….”
The barbarians I’ve seen aren’t particularly unintelligent. They just haven’t learned anything besides combat skills, and they’re overly pure because they’ve only been in the sanctuary.
“That sneaky archer bastard shot an arrow at you. If you hadn’t dodged in time, it would have pierced your neck, not your shoulder.”
I say that and pull out the arrow stuck in his shoulder.
Karon doesn’t even groan, even though it must be quite painful.
Therefore, I continue speaking.
“These guys are marauders. They’re the scum of the labyrinth who tried to kill you and take your heart.”
“…I want to hear what they have to say.”
Could it be that he still has some hope that there was a misunderstanding?
Karon requests a conversation with the three, and I have no reason to refuse. I just take away their weapons and wake up one of the guys who were gathered together.
“Hi, eek!”
The chosen one is the archer.
Since he only fainted from being choked, I judge that he probably took the least damage compared to the others.
“Pl, please spare me!”
I take a step back as I see the archer kneeling in front of me.
I wasn’t the one who wanted to talk.
“Royce, are you really a marauder?”
“Ka, Karon…? There’s a misunderstanding. I’ll explain everything, so first, let this guy—”
“Just answer the question. What misunderstanding?”
“That is…”
The archer can’t answer Karon’s question.
It’s only natural.
Because there is no misunderstanding.
To save time, I throw the notebook I found while taking away their weapons to Karon.
“What’s this?”
“Read it yourself.”
“I… can’t read.”
Ah, right.
“Then ask him to read it for you.”
“That’s… true.”
Karon then hands the notebook I gave him to the archer. It’s the notebook where they wrote down their secret conversation while we were pretending to sleep.
“…….”
The archer, who was sweating profusely as soon as he saw it, hangs his head low.
It seems like he’s finally reached the stage of resignation.
Geez, who gave him permission?
“If you don’t read it, I’ll kill you.”
“…….”
“And very painfully.”
“I, I’ll read it…”
The archer then starts reading the text with trembling lips.
“Briol, why did you accept that guy? Don’t tell me you’re going to kill him too?”
“He’s practically begging us to kill him, is there any need to let him go?”
“I find him suspicious. That night companion nonsense on the 2nd floor… even for a barbarian, there’s no way he’s that stupid.”
“Suspicious? I’m in. After killing so many barbarian bastards, you still don’t get it? They’re just walking…”
The archer stops talking and clenches his mouth shut.
So I break one of his fingers.
“It seems like my words sounded like a joke.”
“Aaaaak!”
“Continue.”
“Th, they’re just like walking monsters! Th, their intelligence is about the same, and especially since the one who kills them first gets to keep them.”
The archer finishes one sentence and glances at Karon.
Karon is trembling.
“That… who said that?”
“…Victor.”
“So it was… that guy… alright, continue.”
Karon, after confirming that it was the spearman’s line, tells him to continue.
“And besides, the reward is enough even if they’re not barbarians. He seems as stupid as a barbarian, but his, his face is… quite handsome, so…”
“Continue.”
“I admit his face is good. But he’s a guy who’s been rolling around with a barbarian, who knows about the other parts—”
“Stop!”
Misha intervenes and snatches the notebook.
And after quickly reading through it, she asks the archer,
“This and this and this. Who said these?”
Her voice is as cold as ice.
This is the first time I’ve seen her like this.
The archer trembles and points to the leader, and Misha looks at me and says firmly,
“Bjorn, I’m going to kill this one.”
“Do as you please.”
Anyway, I had her skip the sexually suggestive parts to avoid making Misha even angrier.
Afterwards, the notebook continues with their discussion about who to kill first and how.
And…
“I’ll ta, take care of Karon. I was an, annoyed that the archer looked down on me. He doesn’t even know he’s about to die after the hunt…”
The archer’s line is the last entry in their written conversation.
After a moment of silence, Karon breaks the silence and speaks.
“I… don’t understand at all.”
His first words are a question.
“…What did I do wrong?”
He first seeks his own fault.
There is none.
It’s just that the world is too barbaric for him to live with his innocence.
“Bjorn, son of Thor…”
“It’s Bjorn, son of Yandel.”
“Right. You’re the famous… that’s good. Tell me. Bjorn, son of Yandel, are these kinds of people common in this labyrinth?”
“They are.”
The dark side of the labyrinth that wasn’t taught in the sanctuary.
The young warrior who is facing it for the first time asks me…
“Then… what should I do?”
…as if he truly desires an answer.
As if he’ll definitely follow the path I show him.
Therefore, I answer,
“Suspect everyone, whether human or other race. Just like how I deceived them, hide your axe within your innocence. Always think and act, even if it’s troublesome and a bit difficult.”
“…Can I do it?”
“It’s not about whether you can or not, it’s something you have to do.”
I speak firmly.
If you can’t distinguish between those two, you’ll be stuck in a world of childish naivety forever.
“Remember. Every time you find and kill one of them, another young warrior’s life is saved.”
The young warrior clenches his teeth at my words.
“I see. So that’s why you…”
It seems like he finally understands my actions.
“So what are you going to do now? I’ll follow your lead.”
I ask one last time, and…
Clench.
Karon, son of Tarson, the young warrior…
…simply grips his axe tightly.
And…
Slash-!
…he finally becomes a true warrior.
______________________
The archer’s head flies off with a rough cut.
The leader, who had been plotting, is woken up by Misha stomping on his crotch and then beheaded, and I snap the remaining one’s neck.
Well, there was a small incident where he woke up and begged for his life…
[Pl, please spare me! I’ll live a good life from now on…]
[You mean you’ll become a good marauder?]
[Go, good marauder? Ah, ye, yes! I’ll definitely… keugh!]
…but nothing changed.
There’s only one way to become a good marauder.
“Here, a potion.”
“Thank you.”
After things are roughly settled, I hand him a potion, and Karon pours it on his shoulder wound.
However…
“Why aren’t you pouring more?”
“Then it will heal completely. Scars are proof of inexperience. I want to remember it so I don’t forget.”
“If that’s the case…”
I don’t say anything else since I know that barbarians consider scars as badges of honor.
“Thank you, Bjorn, son of Yandel. I understand a bit better now what I need to do.”
His eyes are already completely different from before.
And seeing that, I’m certain.
“It will be difficult for you, but I will smash their heads whenever I see them… no, I’ll even seek them out and do it. And if I see a young warrior, I’ll tell them what I experienced today and offer advice.”
With his current state, he should be able to warn them clearly about most marauders.
“Just like you did today. For the sake of our tribe.”
From now on…
…anyone who messes with a baby barbarian is fucked.
“What’s going on?!”
Karon asks in confusion.
However, there’s no way the archer, who fainted from being choked, would answer.
“These guys are marauders.”
I kindly explain that barbarian hearts are sold at high prices and that I snuck in because I suspected these guys.
However…
“What? That’s impossible! They’re my companions…!”
Our pure baby barbarian doesn’t believe it. No, to be precise, he doesn’t want to believe it.
“Karon, son of Tarson, grow up.”
“…Are you trying to insult me! I’m already a warrior!”
“Then why are you trying to deny reality?”
Karon shuts his mouth at my question.
Because he knows too, right?
That everything I said is true.
“…….”
The barbarians I’ve seen aren’t particularly unintelligent. They just haven’t learned anything besides combat skills, and they’re overly pure because they’ve only been in the sanctuary.
“That sneaky archer bastard shot an arrow at you. If you hadn’t dodged in time, it would have pierced your neck, not your shoulder.”
I say that and pull out the arrow stuck in his shoulder.
Karon doesn’t even groan, even though it must be quite painful.
Therefore, I continue speaking.
“These guys are marauders. They’re the scum of the labyrinth who tried to kill you and take your heart.”
“…I want to hear what they have to say.”
Could it be that he still has some hope that there was a misunderstanding?
Karon requests a conversation with the three, and I have no reason to refuse. I just take away their weapons and wake up one of the guys who were gathered together.
“Hi, eek!”
The chosen one is the archer.
Since he only fainted from being choked, I judge that he probably took the least damage compared to the others.
“Pl, please spare me!”
I take a step back as I see the archer kneeling in front of me.
I wasn’t the one who wanted to talk.
“Royce, are you really a marauder?”
“Ka, Karon…? There’s a misunderstanding. I’ll explain everything, so first, let this guy—”
“Just answer the question. What misunderstanding?”
“That is…”
The archer can’t answer Karon’s question.
It’s only natural.
Because there is no misunderstanding.
To save time, I throw the notebook I found while taking away their weapons to Karon.
“What’s this?”
“Read it yourself.”
“I… can’t read.”
Ah, right.
“Then ask him to read it for you.”
“That’s… true.”
Karon then hands the notebook I gave him to the archer. It’s the notebook where they wrote down their secret conversation while we were pretending to sleep.
“…….”
The archer, who was sweating profusely as soon as he saw it, hangs his head low.
It seems like he’s finally reached the stage of resignation.
Geez, who gave him permission?
“If you don’t read it, I’ll kill you.”
“…….”
“And very painfully.”
“I, I’ll read it…”
The archer then starts reading the text with trembling lips.
“Briol, why did you accept that guy? Don’t tell me you’re going to kill him too?”
“He’s practically begging us to kill him, is there any need to let him go?”
“I find him suspicious. That night companion nonsense on the 2nd floor… even for a barbarian, there’s no way he’s that stupid.”
“Suspicious? I’m in. After killing so many barbarian bastards, you still don’t get it? They’re just walking…”
The archer stops talking and clenches his mouth shut.
So I break one of his fingers.
“It seems like my words sounded like a joke.”
“Aaaaak!”
“Continue.”
“Th, they’re just like walking monsters! Th, their intelligence is about the same, and especially since the one who kills them first gets to keep them.”
The archer finishes one sentence and glances at Karon.
Karon is trembling.
“That… who said that?”
“…Victor.”
“So it was… that guy… alright, continue.”
Karon, after confirming that it was the spearman’s line, tells him to continue.
“And besides, the reward is enough even if they’re not barbarians. He seems as stupid as a barbarian, but his, his face is… quite handsome, so…”
“Continue.”
“I admit his face is good. But he’s a guy who’s been rolling around with a barbarian, who knows about the other parts—”
“Stop!”
Misha intervenes and snatches the notebook.
And after quickly reading through it, she asks the archer,
“This and this and this. Who said these?”
Her voice is as cold as ice.
This is the first time I’ve seen her like this.
The archer trembles and points to the leader, and Misha looks at me and says firmly,
“Bjorn, I’m going to kill this one.”
“Do as you please.”
Anyway, I had her skip the sexually suggestive parts to avoid making Misha even angrier.
Afterwards, the notebook continues with their discussion about who to kill first and how.
And…
“I’ll ta, take care of Karon. I was an, annoyed that the archer looked down on me. He doesn’t even know he’s about to die after the hunt…”
The archer’s line is the last entry in their written conversation.
After a moment of silence, Karon breaks the silence and speaks.
“I… don’t understand at all.”
His first words are a question.
“…What did I do wrong?”
He first seeks his own fault.
There is none.
It’s just that the world is too barbaric for him to live with his innocence.
“Bjorn, son of Thor…”
“It’s Bjorn, son of Yandel.”
“Right. You’re the famous… that’s good. Tell me. Bjorn, son of Yandel, are these kinds of people common in this labyrinth?”
“They are.”
The dark side of the labyrinth that wasn’t taught in the sanctuary.
The young warrior who is facing it for the first time asks me…
“Then… what should I do?”
…as if he truly desires an answer.
As if he’ll definitely follow the path I show him.
Therefore, I answer,
“Suspect everyone, whether human or other race. Just like how I deceived them, hide your axe within your innocence. Always think and act, even if it’s troublesome and a bit difficult.”
“…Can I do it?”
“It’s not about whether you can or not, it’s something you have to do.”
I speak firmly.
If you can’t distinguish between those two, you’ll be stuck in a world of childish naivety forever.
“Remember. Every time you find and kill one of them, another young warrior’s life is saved.”
The young warrior clenches his teeth at my words.
“I see. So that’s why you…”
It seems like he finally understands my actions.
“So what are you going to do now? I’ll follow your lead.”
I ask one last time, and…
Clench.
Karon, son of Tarson, the young warrior…
…simply grips his axe tightly.
And…
Slash-!
…he finally becomes a true warrior.
______________________
The archer’s head flies off with a rough cut.
The leader, who had been plotting, is woken up by Misha stomping on his crotch and then beheaded, and I snap the remaining one’s neck.
Well, there was a small incident where he woke up and begged for his life…
[Pl, please spare me! I’ll live a good life from now on…]
[You mean you’ll become a good marauder?]
[Go, good marauder? Ah, ye, yes! I’ll definitely… keugh!]
…but nothing changed.
There’s only one way to become a good marauder.
“Here, a potion.”
“Thank you.”
After things are roughly settled, I hand him a potion, and Karon pours it on his shoulder wound.
However…
“Why aren’t you pouring more?”
“Then it will heal completely. Scars are proof of inexperience. I want to remember it so I don’t forget.”
“If that’s the case…”
I don’t say anything else since I know that barbarians consider scars as badges of honor.
“Thank you, Bjorn, son of Yandel. I understand a bit better now what I need to do.”
His eyes are already completely different from before.
And seeing that, I’m certain.
“It will be difficult for you, but I will smash their heads whenever I see them… no, I’ll even seek them out and do it. And if I see a young warrior, I’ll tell them what I experienced today and offer advice.”
With his current state, he should be able to warn them clearly about most marauders.
“Just like you did today. For the sake of our tribe.”
From now on…
…anyone who messes with a baby barbarian is fucked.
I feel like this is going to backfire somehow
ReplyDeleteWho the hell records their conversation of how their going to kill someone in a damn notebook? Somehow some marauders are just leaving perfect clues of their crimes, stupid as hell. I get that it's necessary to educate the young barbarians but making villains do unbelievable stupid shit is annoying.
ReplyDeleteI mean…I feel like it’s perfectly sensible in this case? They’ve got a guy they want to kill later in their party, so they can’t just talk out loud about their intentions around him, and even if they think he’s asleep or far enough away that he can’t hear them all they need to do is slip up even once they’re in trouble. So what’s the best way to work around a naive person who can’t read? Just communicate through a notebook, and if he asks about it all you need to do is say you’re making notes for future expeditions or something and he’ll probably believe it. Barring outlier situations like Bjorn showing up it’s a simple and effective solution. Would be dumb if they kept it around at all times, of course, but they just need to burn it or tear out they pages they used at the end of each expedition and there’s no indication of their misdeeds.
DeleteI quite like how Bjorn has become naturalized into the Barbarian culture. It's to the point where I think even if he's offered a way home, he'll choose to stay.
ReplyDelete